Becoming: Lessons Michelle Obama Taught Me
Hello Everyone,
I'm actually really excited about this post because about two months ago I finished Michelle Obama's recent book Becoming which was such an inspiring memoir about her life leading up to where she is now and I'd be lying if I told you she wasn't one of my most inspiring role models. I love reading books like this because they're real and personal. It's not a made-up story, but a real person's life journey from someone who has made an impact on the world in her own way, and sharing their story to inspire others. It's her story of overcoming adversity and revealing behind-the-scenes details we weren't able to see from the public eye. Her story really shows us how we're constantly evolving and how important it is to know yourself before aligning your life with someone else. These are just a few takeaways I got from her book.
1. Use the platform you've been given
Michelle mentioned how there was no job description for a First Lady. However, she managed to find ways to do something instead of wandering around the White House and looking pretty. She took time to see military veterans, speak to children, promote healthy living, and touch lives as much as she could. She also reached out to those who were affected by instances of gun violence which meant a lot to those victims. If you have something to say or have great ideas, use what platform you have to make them known and share them with those who can support what you have to say.
2. Make an impact by getting involved
Getting your hands dirty is the best way to make a difference. For a lot of people, making an impact can seem simple as writing a check for a foundation. There is some truth to that because it does take funding to operate any organization. However, the best way to make a direct impact is to volunteer or speak to those you're impacting. When you do that, you make an even bigger impact and those who you're helping become real people to you. Writing a check is great, but you don't actually get the chance to see who your money is affecting. It really changes you when you're on the front lines interacting with those people, they become real to you, and in some ways, this can change your life in addition to the lives you're trying to make a difference for.
3. Focus on yourself before someone else comes along
I love how she broke her book into three parts with the first part titled Becoming Me before Becoming Us because it's important to work on yourself and progress your own life first before adding someone into your life. She had completed college, gotten a job, found a way to support herself, and seemed very independent before she even met Barack. I'm sure we've been around women who are always wondering when they're going to meet their future husband, (you know who you are). I've heard so many stories from older women about how their peers were going to college to get a ring instead of actually getting an education. God works in mysterious ways and leads us down paths we never would have thought we'd ever go. The people placed in our lives can come into our lives when we least expect it. So if you believe He is a good God with everything under control and knows exactly how your future turns out, then why worry? Just keep doing what you're doing and everything else will fall into place. As cliche as it sounds, it's actually true.
4. Marriage is a partnership
I know you've probably heard this a lot, but it's extremely true. I love the way she describes her relationship with Barack because it seemed like a solid friendship with its own ups and downs. It's something I've seen growing up watching my parents' marriage. They fully support each other even when they don’t agree. Michelle admitted that she wasn't really into politics, but she supported what her husband wanted to do out of love. In the long run, he helped her pass a bill for food and nutrition, so he supported her back!
Michelle also shares some of the challenges she went through as Barack's political career took off and having to find ways to make their marriage work. At the end of the first part of the book, she said, "And with that, I leaned in and everything felt clear,". So when God leads you to your life partner, are you going to be ready? Are you going to be in a good place? We don't know the answers to these questions, but we'll just know. And if we really love each other, then we'll both be willing to put in the effort.
5. Adversity should be a reason, not an excuse
Throughout her book, Michelle shares memories of growing up in the '60s where black people experienced discrimination on a level that was more acceptable than it is now. She mentions her grandfather and how his many ambitions were lowered because of the odds against him based on his skin color. I have to say, Michelle is an amazing writer because of how she described this instance:
"This particular form of discrimination altered the destinies of generations of African Americans, including many of the men in my family, limiting their income, their opportunity, and eventually, their aspirations. [...] These were highly intelligent, able-bodied men who were denied access to stable high-paying jobs, which in turn kept them from being able to buy homes, send their kids to college, or save for retirement. It pained them, I know, to be cast aside, to be stuck in jobs that they were overqualified for, to watch white people leapfrog past them at work, sometimes training new employees they knew might one day become their bosses. And it bred within each of them at least a basic level of resentment and mistrust: You never quite knew what other folks saw you to be." (pg. 39).
I wonder if this was what gave her the motivation to excel with everything she did. As a young black woman myself, I've grown up hearing members of my family telling me, "you have to work twice as hard to be just as good" which is frustrating to hear, but I know that's the reality some people have had to face at an extreme level. No matter what issues you've faced or what your background is, you have to use what you have to get where you want to be. I'm pretty sure we've been around people at some point in our lives saying things like:
My parents never went to college.
There's too much risk involved!
They've never hired a woman before.
That’s going to cost too much money.
My parents have always told my brother and I to strive to do more than what they ever could, and I'll definitely tell my children to do the same. From generation to generation, we should strive to do better than what the last generation has done. You use your background and your hardships as a reason to work towards success. If the Obamas could do it out of the challenges they faced, then what makes you think you can't do the same? Why do you think we get a day off on Martin Luther King Day? Why did they release a film about Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg last year On The Basis Of Sex? It's because these are two extraordinary individuals who had the vision to create a better world for the next generation than the world they were living in. Adversity has always been their reason to work hard to make a change, and I think we're all capable of doing the same.
6. Pay attention to how you carry yourself
When Michelle discussed her experience at the beginning of Obama's presidential campaign, she recalls being labeled as "The Angry Black Woman" or moments like the backlash from her experience having embraced the Queen of England at an event. I do believe appearances don't matter, but when you're in a career or in any public setting, how you carry yourself does matter at certain times if you want to be taken seriously. When I got to college, I became a complete bum. My uniform was active sportswear, no makeup, and my hair was always up because some days I didn't know what to do with it. To this day I hate wearing anything that goes against my comfy sporty wardrobe, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get results.
7. always Keep future generations in mind
The next generation of children are the ones taking care of us when we're old and gray, so it's important to set them up well while they're young. When Michelle and her husband took over the White House, she mentioned how she wanted more children around because she believed children make everything better. Throughout the book, I took in how Michelle worked a lot with kids. She created a garden with kids from a local school, made appearances on kids' shows, pushed for a healthy lifestyle, and did a lot to show how much she cared about the youth. It's actually one of the reasons why I hope to be fortunate enough to be a mother, and have the power to raise my own children to be impactful members of society. For those of you who might not want kids of your own, I would never say your choice is invalid, but think about who will take care of you when you're older? It all depends on how you treat the young loved ones in your life.
These are just seven of the things I've learned from Michelle Obama's Becoming. She reminds us that as we get older we're becoming who we're meant to be. Life is about finding WHO you're meant to be and what kind of legacy we want to leave behind while having fun and enjoying the process. Looking back over my life, I feel like I was all over the place, I kept changing what I thought I wanted to do, and that's okay. Often times I just have to trust that everything will work out in God's will. Maybe one day I can change the world in my own way just like her and the many others who came before her... one day at a time.