Tips to Making International Friends
Hello Everyone!
I get asked all the time how I manage to make so many international friendships, and to be honest with you it can be quite simple. I’ve broken it down for you into four key things you should know.
1. Find Common Topics of Discussion
I believe you can always make a good impression on someone by opening up discussions around subjects people from certain cultures enjoy talking about. I was reading an article from Homeis about cultural differences between France and the U.S. and they specifically mentioned how politics isn’t taboo. In the U.S. we typically like to avoid political or controversial discussions to avoid getting into heated arguments, but it’s socially acceptable in other countries. Finding interesting things about a person’s country can be great to bring up because most people, in general, love hearing someone speaking highly about certain aspects their country is proud of.
Sports is another topic around the globe. I remember being in France while the FIFA Men’s World Cup was going on and you’d be amazed at how quickly you can bond with someone at a sportsbar while screaming at the TV. Finding commonalities is a great way to start a discussion. It’s also a good idea to know what topics to avoid. I had a roommate from Italy not too long ago, and there were certain things that would set her off into rant mode. I, personally, was entertained by how honest and blunt she was about how she feels, but I do know that might be uncomfortable for people who aren’t used to that.
2. Speak to them in their language
I find this one to be quite simple, but it works every time. I was coming back from lunch on a Sunday before the next service started, and I noticed some people behind me were speaking French. I immediately turned around and said “Parlez-vous français?” and they responded that they do speak French (obviously) and I found out they were visiting Los Angeles on vacation from Quebec then I told them my current rooomate (at the time) was originally from Montréal. At one point after college, I was a Lyft driver and met so many people including a guy from Lyon, France who was…I believe a hypnotherapist and we talked the whole way in French about the culture of his city in particular.
I had a passenger speaking German on the phone, so before I dropped him off, I spoke it back to him. He was so taken aback that he had to tell whoever he was talking to that his driver was speaking to him in German. In the end, he gave me his card and told me if I ever wanted to work for a German recycling company to shoot him an email! Later on, I got offered a contractual job teaching their American employees German language and culture. This is a great way to find international connections in your own area when you open your mouth, and go for it. If you don’t live in an area where many expats reside, there are plenty of great apps and resources for you to still make friends.
3. Don’t Make assumptions about them
One of the things I hate as a woman of color is, on numerous occasions, I’ll tell people I speak French and automatically ask me if I’m Haitian. This is a big no-no on so many levels! When addressing someone who speaks a language in which multiple countries adopt as an official language, don’t ask them “Are you...?” or “Are you from…?” It’s almost the same notion of someone telling you they speak Spanish and asking if they’re Mexican when they’re from San Salvador. Trust me, you don’t want to get into that because many of my hispanic friends tell me there’s a thing between those two countries. Going back to the Haitian inquiry, that can be received as “you think all black people who speak French are Haitian?” which can make someone think you’re a little ignorant or possibly racist. To avoid this, the better question to ask is simply “where are you from?” It’s a safe question because there aren’t any assumptions…which brings me to my next tip.
4. Ask questions
Curiosity can flatter someone by showing them how invested you are in their culture. It’s common psychology that people enjoy talking about themselves and sharing who they are. Back in college, I was living with an exchange student from Mexico (who I’m still friends with) and I used to ask him sooo many questions disecting the entirety of Mexican Spanish. He taught me a lot about his culture, and even gave me some resources to better improve my Spanish. As I mentioned in my first point, friendships can easily be made when we find commonalities with others. It’s easier to bond with someone when they’re proud of where they come from and meet someone interested in learning about where they’re from.